So, when you go to the Lynn Cancer Center, you have many options. You can walk in or roll in. Lined up at the door and ready to use are chairs for those too weak to get in by themselves. Every time I leave after seeing my doctor or leaving a few tubes of blood, I turn those assembled in the waiting room and, after getting, attention, give a blessing: “Do as best as you can.”
Category: Health
Neurosurgery Counter Service
So, as we age, so does our back, maybe faster than our brains. Pain, pain, pain from every step. Stairs always a challenge. Getting up. Sitting down. X-rays. Rolling over in bed. Putting on pants. Wiping my ass.
CAT Scans. MRIs (a real joy for those of us with claustrophobia). How about an epidural? And there is always a surgical option. Want some pills. No, I drink for pain relief.
Every step of the way, Sharon sat next to me. It was as if she was the patient, asking questions, feeling the pain, sharing my emotions. Even though she has her own problems, nothing would make her happier than knowing I wasn’t as disabled as I am.
Dr. Brett Schlifka informed her, as if she was the patient. And, she did her own independent research. Great teammate.Great doctor. Smart. Caring. Talented. Likes his patients.
I learned what I could learn, rejecting the shots and surgery, accepting the suggestion to do physical therapy. Rejecting the opioids; living with the pain. So far, so good. Call me back, Brett said the other day. “Call when you need me.”
A back is a back. I have spinal stenosis. Have to be careful. Don’t fall. Maintain my posture. Respect my limitations. The only good thing about living in FL is the pool. And my life, not worth living without Sharon.
Argus
So, last night Argus visited me during sleep. He never closes his eyes, looking into the future and remembering the past. Both for me seem pretty scary.
I have never gained control over the remnants of my past trauma or regained any sense I had control over the smashup that stole my career and adulthood. Even my understanding wife has had a tough time living with it. So it goes.
The future remains dim, too, now that I face a multitude of physical problems: blood, skin and spine being the most pressing. But I forage on, trying as I might try to live in the present, always valueing what I have, rather than what I lost which will never again be within my reach. No more dreams or long range plans.
Florida is the kind of place where many leave behind their real lives.
Ducks Do Walking Wounded
Ibrutinib/Imbruvica
I have been taking Imbruvica for one year. I have not been sick, though I cannot say I have been well, either. But I am still alive and have not caught any diseases or had a cold. How long will it keep working? Will I have a relapse or go into remission. Tomorrow, the Cancer Doctor. I like seeing him. It’s the sitting in the waiting room that I cannot deal with.