No Thanksgiving

Not that Thanksgiving was ever one of my favorite holidays, but today’s Thanksgiving hurts more than any and means less. The deaths in Israel and Gaza of innocent people, old and young alike, leaves me bereft. I grieve mightily for the losses on both sides and the absence of dignity and purpose in the entire affair.

My heart breaks for the living, as well as the dead, parents, siblings, friends, associates. I cannot imagine what it feels like to have lost someone or not to know if someone was lost. The sorrow and sadness keeps me awake at night, despite feeling personally safe and despite not personally knowing anyone who died. I see the destruction in my dreams and hear the cries. I can smell the fetid air and taste the pollution on my tongue. No one feels safe and everyone knows it.

I know the pain of isolation and aloneness, the despair of not having family or friends, of being hated. I never learned to hate, though I did learn to be hated. I learned love through my wife. No god ever shined countenance on me or gave me peace and no hater ever said they were sorry or tried to renew a friendship or family relationship. My life was destroyed, but I got to leave with my head up, some trinkets and a spouse. Where do they go and with whom.

Stripped of my career, legacy and heritage, I was left only with my self-esteem and a loving, caring wife. At least I had that. What will they have: more fear of annihalition, complete destruction, obliteration. Who will care for them in sickness and in health? Who will they trust to protect them?

No one will come to our table to share a harvest feast. We don’t eat turkey or tell the story of the Native American Wampanoag people. There will be no arguments about who made the best stuffing or gravy and no collapses on the couch to watch football games. Just some Osso Bucco and a glass or two of red “whine”.

I can only hope that tomorrow some hostages on both sides are released.

Alan Arkin, Dead at 89

Alan Arkin died. He made 100 films, starred in theatre, improv and wrote books. Last seen by me and loved in The Kominsky Method with Michael Douglas. He was Alan Arkin to the end. Watch one of his movies,”Argo”, “The Russians Are Coming”, “In Laws”. He will make you smile.

My favorite Alan Arkin role, Yosarrian, the character in the movie, not the character in the book, Catch-22. There is always a catch 22, always some rule to enable the enterprise to survive. Truth dies. Dilemmas abound. And while you could have made it if you tried (complied), enemies lurking at every turn (uniforms don’t insure friendship) find you, because you didn’t become one of them, and you gotta go because you gonna get got.

May Yosarrian’s raft find an oasis and may he not die rowing to it.

I always wanted the system to offer me a deal like Yossarian was offered: we will give you a medal if you don’t tell the truth and say you love us. These are unforgiving people, no empathy, intolerant, unsympathetic, willing to lie, twist the law and facts, anything to stay in power. To this day, I don’t know if I would have taken it.

Like they said in the movie, “what’s good for M&M Enterprises is good for the country,” and “…, a contract is a contract.” Same for the courts, our systems most dangerous branch. Two tiered and two faced, killers of the innocent, incarcerators of the black, brown, and poor, oppressors of the under represented, rejectors of those who look or act differently, especially the mentally challenged and those discovering/exploring their sexual identities.

Like those who do magic, which we know isn’t real, but we like to be fooled into thinking it is, the jurists are actors, carefully chosen for the roles. They aren’t judges, they just act like judges. Keep an open mind. Leave your life at the courtroom door. Loyalty oaths in return for stipends, trips and in some cases, lifetime appointments.

But more importantly and more on point, the main reason for this rant, this Term, the Country took several steps back in our nation’s effort to secure liberty, justice and happiness for all of US. Women’s rights, civil rights, voting rights, affirmative action meant nothing to these 6 charlatans in black. Back came the Hanger for women exercising power over their bodies and Hanging or silence for those wanting their voices heard as they speak out against injustice by electing public servants who serve the public.

FUCK THEM, Alito, Roberts, Gorsuch, Kavanaugh, Barrett and my favorite skeeve,  Clarence, along with their ideologue Federalist originalist friends and those who have bought their services with plane rides, hunting trips, and business for their spouses.

Sharon Orders In

So, I got fucked for calling Nancy Mukasey Rothenberg, Princess Nancy. She was absent from court, often, planning her wedding, leaving her cases unprepared, I was told. It was a Jewish insult, according the Commissar Stern, a term abhorred by Jewish girls/women, though none I knew. Sharon never got her Prince, like Nancy did, she got me. What Sharon does well, like some Jewish women, is she orders in. And in this time of Corona, that is a skill devoutly to be wished. We are still married, despite Nancy’s efforts to cause otherwise. Is she?

Nathan Bedford Forrest Removed

In September, we visited Memphis, ostensibly to see the Motel, Graceland and Sun Records. Arriving early for our tour of the place where Elvis recorded, we walked to a nearby park which had been the subject of litigation and consternation over a monument erected to honor Nathan Bedford Forrest.

An American flag flew over the statue’s base. I was appalled. Here is a man who massacred 300 helpless black Union soldiers and served as the first wizard of the KKK and not only do they have a monument to him, but after it is removed they fly an American flag.

As an artist, I love to look at statues, reminded as I am of their three dimensional quality,  a level of visual arts not allowed to photographers, as well as their historical value, but they belong in  museums where people have the choice of looking at them or looking away. And parks, nature parks, educating people about nature and schools, where people learn to read and think, should not be named after them. 

Yes, he is an historical figure and someone who should be studied. But so should Dr. King who was murdered in the same area. No statue stands at the motel, a place our tour guide neglected to have the bus stop. I wouldn’t want one there either, but I would have wanted to step out on the terrace and cry.

Yesterday, I watched The General, one of the greatest films ever made, starring America’s leading comic actor. But, is it still relevant as it portrays a Confederate victory, a Rebel outsmarting the Union Army? Yes, as a historical artifact. Not worthy of a statue, though.

 

Trump Beat Impeachment

 

Tools ready. But the Friends of Trump controlled the process and the outcome. My colleagues on the bench, a process the complainants in my case [Pataki and Bruno] controlled, wanted raises and my friends in the bar didn’t want to spend any capital offending prosecutors who control the plea bargaining process (something I interfered with). So I got buried.

Trump doesn’t want anyone to go through this process again. He should talk to me. My life was ruined. He will go on ruining lives.

Grave Tools

Read The Dec

This little book tells it all. It costs a buck and you can buy a pack and pass them out. But it don’t matter if you don’t remind yourself of our dreams of a more perfect union. Not until the late 19th Century did they address slavery and there is no mention of God. Here’s one of the things the founders said:

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.

So as we sip our beer, eat our franks and watch fireworks, we should be thinking about how to make these truths real and not just words.