Amy Beede, Dead in Burlington VT

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My heart breaks inside. I shed tears for her. I shed tears for all of them.

I knew her, you could say, as well as you can know anyone you meet on the street, Church Street. Bought her paints and paper for her art. Bought her coffee. May have loaned her a buck or two or three. Never got them back. Didn’t know Amos. Can’t know too much about someone you meet on the street, either.

Beaten to death for not a good reason. And, in a homeless camp where she spent the night, because she missed the bus back to Milton where she had a place to live and family. I hope the killing wasn’t motivated by gender animus, but who knows?

No way to die; especially when you don’t want to and aren’t ready to. So many I knew on the street suffered undignified deaths as they struggled to understand life. She was always looking up, even when she wasn’t.

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Amy tried to help others, despite her own personal problems, as much as she tried to help herself. Knew a ton of people and didn’t like a whole lot of them. A noble person she was. And that isn’t easy when you don’t have comfort zones to hide out in or a complete understanding of whom you are.

Before I left Burlington, we spoke. I suggested that she not come down from Milton every day and that she find things and people up there who would be of interest. “Nope,” she said, “Burlington was where her life was.” And, that is where it ended. Badly.

 

D-Day June 6, 2016

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70th anniversary and they don’t get easier. On Omaha beach, they landed and died. More came, stepping over their bodies. Some of them died, too. Kids who hadn’t lived. Kids with no idea of their mortality. They left mothers and fathers, sisters and brothers.

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How did Irvin die? Don’t know? But I can tell you why. He did it for me and I wasn’t yet born. I love you Irvin.

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Hallowed be the ground at the American Cemetery.

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Some guy I never saw before came to Anshei Shalom to say kaddish for the fallen at the Holocaust Memorial in front of the shul. He served in Germany, sometime. He needed a place to pray.

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May their memories be a blessing.

 

Minyan Image Hung on Wall at Temple Anshei Shalom

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I made this image as a prayer aid, something to take the minyanim to a higher level. My talit, worn at my Bar Mitzvah, given to me by my father. My kappa, swiped from a box somewhere, bearing the name of some people whom I don’t know who gave it to people who attended their wedding. Tefillin from Sholem Lipskar who presides in Bal Harbor, whom I have not seen for years. He thought we were related and deserted me during my assassination. The prayer book is from a Rabbi I knew in MA. It belonged to his grandfather. It is open to the page we all read when we put  on the boxes. Today, they hung it in the little sanctuary at Anshei Sholem where we belong.

I made all the light in the image in a studio. It’s artificial. Only God makes light. He did that first so we could observe the wonder of his creation.

May we all, this shabbos, use that light to see clearly, focused on human rights and justice, loving our families and communities and making the best of our short time hear on earth.

Why War

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We stood in mourning at the American Cemetery with people from all over the world. All came knowing the dead even if we weren’t related by anything other than our sadness. Kids mostly lie at rest. Carerra marble stones don’t have dates or places of birth. The dead came from somewhere in the US. Had mothers, fathers, sisters and brothers. Deprived of their life for no reason other than their desire to stop the madness and mayhem of State murder, all believing they were doing right for the right reasons. Many of their brothers lie else where, closer to home. We felt them, too.

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There is  silence in the place, people in the graves have muffled voices. I wanted to unearth the remains, hug the bodies and say thanks. But when I went with the group and saw this statue, my eyes dried a bit and my heart filled with rage. I looked at the figure and it said to me, arms and voice raised, “WHY WAR.”

 

Back To Boynton

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Home. Haven’t really settled in, even though we have been here for a year. Went to Paris last year. Did a couple of weeks here and there. I almost died following gall bladder surgery. We don’t have a routine and I have cruise pounds. Who do you call? Bicycle Doctor. They make house calls to repair and restore bikes. Our antique bikes, bought in Brooklyn and maintained, will outlive us. I want us both to live a while, a wish supported by Sharon and a select few. So, let’s get it on and take off some pounds.

American Cemetery, Normandy 2016


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All Americans owe a debt to these men, mostly young, who changed the course of history. They gave their life for me. Families of Jews made the decision to bury them with their brothers. 149 Carrera marble Mogen Davids stand, marking their graves. No rocks to mark my visit. I left my tears. Some leave roses.

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Vets on our tour and others laid wreaths for all. Most who came on the Beaches are now dead. No way to mourn them enough or apologize for our inhumanity. When we ask why we do this, we know the answer.

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A monument was erected to the fallen on Omaha Beach. Soldiers did better on nearby Utah Beach. I try not to believe the dead were sacrifices, though things like that happen in wars. Sad but true. And to think these guys were volunteers….

 

 

 

Duck Me Up

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Here are Dan and Loren. Met on the cruise. They hail from Plantation, FL.

Fun to meet someone with my name, albeit a woman. She didn’t make fun of me or call me Warren or Moron. Have trouble introducing myself, because people comment on my name. Uneasy, I have always been, being a boy named “Sue.”

So, I like Duck. That has it’s own problems. People make fun of that, too. Like, “my name is goose,” or “quack, quack.” But Duck is fine and easy to remember. And, you should remember, too, not to make fun or a person’s name or make it a conversation starter.

Cora Duckman, Dead for 20 Years

At Sea_Viking Star_Day#25-6

So, my Mother died during my hearing. She had a heart attack watching Governor Pataki rail at me, demanding I resign. As I sat shiva, newsmen prowled outside until shooed by Kendall, out neighbor. My brother blamed me for her death. Family deserted me. Few came to our home.

I was refused an extension of time to appear, a point noted somewhere in the decisions supporting my removal. I never really got a chance to mourn or grieve.

Today, we are traveling through Europe. A rabbi has been brought aboard to lead the seder. At his lecture on Jewish values, I asked the assembled crowd if people would join to make a minyan. Yes, women are invited.

We got 8. Found Kaddish prayer on my I Pad. Rabbi asked if I could read Hebrew. I said, “yes, as long as I don’t cry too much.” I did cry and we did say Kaddish.

Day#9, Pula

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During the Roman times, the Emperor and his landed gentry buddies would bring gladiators into this arena where they would fight and kill peasants and lions. People cheered for their sides, just like many still do today when they watch sports.

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They drank wine, wenched and partied, ignoring their responsibility to civilization.

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They have telephones now, though I doubt anyone uses them.