Photography Thinks
So, when you go to the Lynn Cancer Center, you have many options. You can walk in or roll in. Lined up at the door and ready to use are chairs for those too weak to get in by themselves. Every time I leave after seeing my doctor or leaving a few tubes of blood, I turn those assembled in the waiting room and, after getting, attention, give a blessing: “Do as best as you can.”
Sometimes driving requires so much attention that you miss what is going on around you.
Having flowers around stimulates the creative cords in my brain. How restful and mindful. No time to consider what wasn’t or could have been. Negativity interruptus.
Mystery woman is a mystery to the photographer. “Carravaggistis in literature use psychological fiction (also psychological realism); theirs is a narrative genre that emphasizes interior characterization and motivation to explore the spiritual, emotional, and mental lives of the characters….” https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Caravaggisti
Bruce Harden died. Had I ever met him, I would have asked me to teach me how to see. https://www.nytimes.com/2023/08/10/arts/brice-marden-dead.html.
Lost a favored plant yesterday, a Bromeliad Imperialis. Very sad. It graced our simple, humble garden, providing class and style. No post mortem, yet, could have been water or insects. Doesn’t matter why; just too bad we lost it.
So, these bromeliads just sit where we place them. They are from the air plant family, too big for household entertainment. Some of their beauty lies hidden within, protected by layers of leaves. The flower once. In the end, bromeliads sometimes kill themselves trying to multiply, leaving a legacy, but no history. They are indigenous to Florida, withstanding the changes in weather and temperature, while lending exotic flavors to outdoor spaces.
Our gardner, Richard King who designed our simple plot with Sharon, lost one too, recently. We both will be finding replacements.
Don’t miss the chance when you visit a museum to pose with the art. Gives the art life and you life. Adds to a photogs understanding of the greater garden of artistic endeavors. I learn new ways to look at myself, pose others and be a subject of a photo. Besides, Sharon is a great photog and it’s fun.
So, here I am, alive at 76. Complicated year health wise, not all resolved. Travelled extensively. Made a few new friends. Kept old enemies. Still no family on my side. Won’t reconcile with any.
Improved creatively. Read a lot. Saw some movies. Learned a few things, but no new tricks. Overall, a good enough year to make me want more.
Gotta live with the hand dealt with. No reformation or rehabilitation on the horizon. Nothing I can do to help anyone or myself.
Just need to stay fresh and interesting enough for Sharon. We all know what a headache I can be. Then we both will deal with aging and our end game.
This bear cub was hiding out in my front yard. Maybe it isn’t a bear cub? Could also be a seeing eye rock!
So, last night Argus visited me during sleep. He never closes his eyes, looking into the future and remembering the past. Both for me seem pretty scary.
I have never gained control over the remnants of my past trauma or regained any sense I had control over the smashup that stole my career and adulthood. Even my understanding wife has had a tough time living with it. So it goes.
The future remains dim, too, now that I face a multitude of physical problems: blood, skin and spine being the most pressing. But I forage on, trying as I might try to live in the present, always valueing what I have, rather than what I lost which will never again be within my reach. No more dreams or long range plans.
Florida is the kind of place where many leave behind their real lives.
Alan Arkin died. He made 100 films, starred in theatre, improv and wrote books. Last seen by me and loved in The Kominsky Method with Michael Douglas. He was Alan Arkin to the end. Watch one of his movies,”Argo”, “The Russians Are Coming”, “In Laws”. He will make you smile.
My favorite Alan Arkin role, Yosarrian, the character in the movie, not the character in the book, Catch-22. There is always a catch 22, always some rule to enable the enterprise to survive. Truth dies. Dilemmas abound. And while you could have made it if you tried (complied), enemies lurking at every turn (uniforms don’t insure friendship) find you, because you didn’t become one of them, and you gotta go because you gonna get got.
May Yosarrian’s raft find an oasis and may he not die rowing to it.
I always wanted the system to offer me a deal like Yossarian was offered: we will give you a medal if you don’t tell the truth and say you love us. These are unforgiving people, no empathy, intolerant, unsympathetic, willing to lie, twist the law and facts, anything to stay in power. To this day, I don’t know if I would have taken it.
Like they said in the movie, “what’s good for M&M Enterprises is good for the country,” and “…, a contract is a contract.” Same for the courts, our systems most dangerous branch. Two tiered and two faced, killers of the innocent, incarcerators of the black, brown, and poor, oppressors of the under represented, rejectors of those who look or act differently, especially the mentally challenged and those discovering/exploring their sexual identities.
Like those who do magic, which we know isn’t real, but we like to be fooled into thinking it is, the jurists are actors, carefully chosen for the roles. They aren’t judges, they just act like judges. Keep an open mind. Leave your life at the courtroom door. Loyalty oaths in return for stipends, trips and in some cases, lifetime appointments.
But more importantly and more on point, the main reason for this rant, this Term, the Country took several steps back in our nation’s effort to secure liberty, justice and happiness for all of US. Women’s rights, civil rights, voting rights, affirmative action meant nothing to these 6 charlatans in black. Back came the Hanger for women exercising power over their bodies and Hanging or silence for those wanting their voices heard as they speak out against injustice by electing public servants who serve the public.
FUCK THEM, Alito, Roberts, Gorsuch, Kavanaugh, Barrett and my favorite skeeve, Clarence, along with their ideologue Federalist originalist friends and those who have bought their services with plane rides, hunting trips, and business for their spouses.